It's time we had a chat....

According to the book wot I just wrote, it’s high time Miss P the elder and I got cracking on a series of relaxed, honest, and informal chats about sex. To quote from the relevant chapter of the latest Netmums guide, You and Your Tween (4: Puberty, Sex and Relationships): ‘…..introducing the subject early on and in a natural, chatty way is all-important, because if you do, she’s far more likely to grow up knowing that sex can be a pleasurable and natural part of relationships…’
Hey, that’s fine with me. I'm ready - if not entirely willing - to face up to my parental duty on this one.

However, I also happen to know - because I wrote it a bit further down in the chapter - that it’s better to wait for any questions first, and use them as a springboard for natural conversation, rather than clearing your throat loudly and announcing there'll be a power point presentation for all family members aged nine and over in the lounge after supper.
Only thing is, I haven’t had any questions yet. Miss P the elder - age nine and a half going on 27; and with a keen interest in science – just isn’t interested, so far. And this despite all indications that it’s a pretty hot playground topic for her class right now. I do library duty at her school, and you sure know when Year Four have been in, because there’s a tangible whiff of pre-pubescent hormones in the air, and all the books featuring human bodies have been guiltily shoved back in the wrong sections. Why, I swear that one lad was quietly humping the carpet as he thumbed through Terrible Tudors during a recent session.
I know other parents who've had to face the issue head on. One classmate’s mum revealed that a couple of weeks ago, her son padded along the landing late at night, approached her with fear in his eyes, and demanded to know if she’d ever had sexual intercourse. (Naturally she promised to talk about it in the morning. I believe she’s successfully diverted him from the subject ever since.)
And even Miss P the younger – six, and about as daft as six can be – has registered some curiosity in the facts of life. In a pub toilet recently, she demanded an explanation for the condom machine. Flustered, but determined to do right, I gave it to her straight. Ish. She’s yet to dig deeper on quite what a couple might be doing that they'd need to prevent a baby in the first place.
Anyhoo, as that timely tome of mine goes on to say, if actual words fail you, it’s a good idea to source an age-appropriate, educational reference book, and to put it somewhere your tween-in-denial can access when she’s ready. Knowing Miss P the elder, she’ll do just that – and then take charge of the power point presentation.

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